Where Oh Where Did My Little Blog Go?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Thoughts on compassion...

I recently received an e-mail from someone who had visited us here. I would like to extend my gratitude to this woman for taking the time to contact me directly, for her prayers, and for her concern. There may be others who share this perspective, so I felt compelled to take a moment to respond...

"I don't know what made me decide to read your blog the other day, but it literally made me sick. I have been thinking for days what I wanted to say to you, and realized there was so much I need to say, knowing you probably don't care. So I have been writing my thoughts, and praying for days.

First off, the pastor that wrote the mass email was not trying to rally his congregation in opposition of Cameron's gender. We, the congregation are already opposed, because of what the bible teaches us. Anyone who has read or studied the bible knows this. Even people that don't, know this is wrong.

I want you to know as well, most people are not against your child. We are upset with you. What you are doing to your child is wrong. To me it is child abuse. It might not be considered as child abuse by DHR, but I hope and pray that one day it will. Laws can always be made or changed. Cameron is not at an age he can make this decision on his own. He would have had to have been taught this by you, over a long period of time. I want you to know that we pray for Cameron everyday. I pray God Will heal him. My God is a healer! If you really read and study your bible, there is no doubt in my mind this would not be going on with Cameron. He would be a happy boy! God doesn't make mistakes. God made Cameron a boy, the devil tryed to make him a girl. You let the devil win. I feel so bad for Cameron.

It makes me sick how you use the bible in your blog. You know the devil will trick you. He knows the bible too. You twist Gods word to make it fit your own beliefs and your story's. Why do you write a public blog? Why do you use God in it? You do know that you will be held accountable one day for all the life's you confuse and turn away from God. It so hurts my spirit, all of this.

I will continue to pray for Cameron. I will continue to pray that God will open your eyes and ears, and you will see what he is really trying to tell you. I have told my child, who is in Cameron's grade, that Cameron is a boy. and to pray for him daily. I have told him to be nice, and not say anything bad, but I have told him that it is wrong in Gods eyes and that is why we need to pray for him daily.

The whole world wants Christians to be tolerant to what is convenient to them and what they believe, and when we stand up for what we believe, we are judgmental and full of hate. This world is so messed up and confused all because of the devil. He wants to destroy all of us. I will do everything in my power to protect my child from the devil. That is why I don't understand what you are doing. My Lord will return one day! If you ever need great guidance our church is always open for you!

I will continue to pray for you and Cameron!"

Sometimes it's difficult for me to convey what is in my head and heart. It's unfortunate that our personal journey has caused so much distress. It would be easy to react in anger to some of the assertions that have been made, but I have grown through this experience in ways that I never thought possible. This growth has become a tremendous blessing in my life... I am thankful for the opportunities for continued growth that are presented with each new day. The most precious spiritual "scar" that I have been given is a greater aptitude for understanding, compassion, and humility for all of God's children.

There was a time in my life when I - too - stood where this woman stands today... There was a time in my life when I thought I had all of the answers. There was a time when I felt convinced that I knew God... knew his plan... knew his views and opinions. At that time in my life, if I were standing outside of where I stand today, I might have pointed the same finger of scorn at another for making the choices that we have felt impressed to make. At that time in my life, these decisions would not have fit into my understanding, or met my expectations, for what I understood to be right... and the testimony that I had of "truth".

The one thing that I have gained a testimony of through this experience is simple, but profound... I have been humbled by the realization that there are many things that I don't, truly, understand. I can no longer take the experiences in my life, or the lives of others, for granted. I have come to understand that I don't have all of the answers. I have learned to pray daily - with diligence and faith - for the strength to accept these challenges in my life, and the patience to move forward with grace and dignity. This has been an uphill battle... one that I know some people will not relate to, or understand - one that most will be fortunate to never experience. It has, and may continue to invite opposition. There is no "alternate route"... the only way to survive adversity when life throws "a curve ball" is through absolute faith. I have become acquainted with my Father through adversity. I thank Him each day for His love in my life.

I cannot judge those who express concern over our direction, some of whom exist within the confines of my own family. Through this experience I have learned the importance of acceptance, compassion, and understanding in the lives of all people without regard to "difference". It would be hypocrisy to pray to receive these blessings if I am unwilling to exercise these principles in my own life.

I have often wondered if God gets tired of the contention? I wonder if he ever grows weary of people arguing over His word... who's right, who's wrong, and who has the answers? I wonder what He feels when He looks at the world and sees anger, hate, and judgement... perpetrated in His name? I wonder... then I think about my responsibility in this experience.

There is no question that this is a profound trial for our family. Words cannot express what we have been through. We acknowledge the spiritual responsibility in the decisions that we have made. There is, however, a fundamental truth that many fail to acknowledge. I believe that there is another trial that has been overlooked... it's the trial introduced to those on the outside of this experience.

Christ taught through parables, through love, through understanding and compassion. He exemplified these principles throughout His life. I believe that He expects us to emulate His example, both in word and deed. He taught love and compassion for others. He taught acceptance and understanding. Most importantly... He taught us that it is not our place to judge or condemn one another. I believe that the day will come when each of us are called to stand before our Eternal Father and account for the "substance" of our life. God knows each of us better than we know ourselves... He knows our pain, the intentions of our heart, and He is the one who will determine the "rights" and "wrongs" of our mortal experience. Cammie's gender variance is our trial... how people respond to it, is theirs.

I do have a testimony of my Heavenly Father. I have a testimony of my child. I have turned to the Lord for guidance throughout my life, in adversity and in peace... I continue to turn to Him today. I am thankful for the many blessings in my life. I know that God loves his children... all of them. He has blessed me with His companionship. He is always there... His love is eternal and unconditional.

I am a good enough mother to recognize that I have many faults and shortcomings. I'm sure my imperfection will manifest itself in the future through the relationships that I work to maintain and cultivate with my precious children each day. I love them with every fiber of my being. Although they may not be clearly understood by some, the actions that I take are inspired by that love.

I don't expect others to understand the complexity of these trials in our life. I do, however, pray daily that those on the outside of this challenge will be able to identify the extreme difficulty of this experience. I pray that, as brothers and sisters in Christ, we will each identify the opportunities and exercise the strength to step outside of ourselves, follow His example, and respond to one another with compassion...

Luke 10:25-29

And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

He said unto him, What is written in the law? How readest thou?

And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

And he said unto him, Thou has answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

Jesus replied with a story:

“A Jewish man was traveling on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here."

Luke 10:36 - 37

Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.


  1. "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit." (Lk 6:43 NIV)

    I think it's obvious by your lives that you and your family are bearing good fruit. Good fruit comes from good trees.

    No judgment on the person who disagrees.

  2. Wow, I really appreciate your compassion and how you did not respond in anger toward a close minded person who feel as though they know God.

  3. Wow, Christina, I'm so sorry that you get email like that. I think your post about it is spot on. It is neither my place, nor my wish to judge anyone, but were it to fall upon me to fear for anyone, it would be the person who sent you that letter. Me, I have studied the bible, and history, and nothing in there speaks to anything you're doing wrong. Nothing. Not a judgment, just a fact. But, hey, what do I know right? After all, I left the LDS family years ago and struck out on a path to nourish my spirit and find a better (for me) relationship with God. I've only a masters and Ph. D in Theology, that and three dollars will get me on a subway in NY, but not a cup of coffee at Starbucks, so I recognize the limitations of my education.

    There are however no such limitations on my compassion and love for everyone around me. And nothing in the Bible (and I've studied MANY versions) has told me to limit this for any reason, to any person or persons. If anything, it is full of cautionary tales of temptation and judgment, of treating my neighbor as less than for any reason. Probably my favorite part of the Bible is Matthew 7:1-8, which is simple, clear and unquestionable in it's message.

    Alas, it is often over looked by those who seek to control others lives. And this I've never understood. Why is it SO important to them, to turn you away from what THEY have decided is the wrong path? Worst case, what happens? If by some bizarre stretch of time and space, they are right, they will watch as we are turned away. Instead they judge, and attempt to FORCE us to their view of the universe, and in that, risk their own souls on something that is clearly spelled out as something not to do.

    Is it less a sin then to violate one part of the Bible than another? I'm at a loss. Somehow it is okay to violate Matthew 7, while ENFORCING Leviticus? Especially when historically the sections of the Bible so often used as weapons of hate, are talking about something very different than what people claim.

    My favorite is Witches. "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live" was actually talking about people who kill with poisons not "witchcraft" but the folks TRANSLATING the Bible didn't have the right word, so witch was used.

    It's amazing and scary, how people talk about being "God fearing" because you step out of line and he'll smite you. God loves me, Jesus loves me, these things I know to be true. So why do people fear God?

    I pray for them.

    I weep.

    More than that I cannot do.

    In you and your family I rejoice, because there is so much love and communication going on, there is much turning of the other cheek, and loving thy neighbor, well Girlfriend, your whole life has been about that.

    You're amazing Christina, and God loves you and your children as he loves all of us, even those who write such mail to you. You're doing great Chica!