Where Oh Where Did My Little Blog Go?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

On your mark... Get set... Go where???

Well, it's nearly midnight and I'm awake in a quiet house... a house filled with the chatter of my thoughts and the love in my heart. I got off work late and had to go to Walmart to buy some Gatorade, snacks, running shorts, socks, and - of course - yellow ribbon with white polka dots for Cammie's french braids tomorrow. She made the track team at school and tomorrow she will compete with children from all of the schools in the county... on the boy's team.

Tomorrow I will wake up bright and early - shower and get ready, braid her beautiful blond hair and tie it up with the cute yellow ribbon that screams "CAMMIE ELAINE IS HERE!" Every courageous step she takes in life boldly announces her existence and purpose with the same unspoken sentiment.

I will drive her to the school where she will get on the bus, then follow the crowd of competitive kiddos to the school (a good distance away) where the track meet is being held, park in the parking lot with the rest of the parents, and find a seat in the observation stand. Garbed with the typical video and camera equipment, sunglasses, and ball-cap... I will shout, whistle, and cheer louder than any parent in my own personal competition to convey love and support as my little girl takes her place on the track with all of the boys. She will take her place and run with every bit of strength in her little body to win the race in an effort to prove that you could "cram her in a blue box made of steel", but she'd burst right out because diamonds can cut through anything.

I am in awe at her courage and overwhelmed by her conviction. NOTHING in life seems to intimidate her or hold her back. She's more stubborn than a pack of mules and more determined than anyone I've ever known. She's got something special, and it only takes a moment in her presence to recognize it. Her spirit is radiant and she shines, leaving a lasting impression on those blessed to know her... truly know HER.

I was thinking about life in it's true analytical sense and the proverbial "race" it represents, and the words of my father from years ago echoed in my heart and quieted my fear and anxiety over what will be, a very public statement of her identity... "It doesn't matter who wins or loses, or how someone makes it through the race. In the end, all that really matters is the good you do along the way that will guide you to the finish line."

It doesn't matter if Cammie wins tomorrow, or loses the race. In my heart, she has already won. She's got courage, conviction, and passion. She believes in herself and loves life. Nothing stands in her way. She's not afraid to be the beautiful child that God created her to be, and in that event... she has already won first place.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Pearls Cast Amidst the Swine....

I was remodeling (and cleaning) Cammie's room while she was away at the beach with her best friend for spring break. She just had a birthday and I wanted it to be a surprise. While I was "mucking out" and organizing the entourage of girl's things, clothes, dolls, trash, and trinkets... I found a couple of precious keepsakes among, what can only be described as the rubble of childhood. These precious expressions were buried under clothes and toys, as if the emotions they captured were so commonplace they lacked significant meaning to her... but as I read each treasure, my heart swelled with love and gratitude at the gift God has given me. With each written expression, I was taught something truly profound. Through blessed insight... I was given a rare opportunity to catch a glimpse of her world, her experience, her beautiful heart, and her precious perspective. What an amazing, strong, and gifted child God has given me. I'm thankful for all that she has taught me, what she continues to teach me with each new day, and all of the precious truths she has inspired in my life. I wanted to take a moment to share "The pearls cast amidst the swine"...

Since this is difficult to read in such small font, I am dictating it...

I Am
By: Cammie Elaine Johnson

I am imaginative and gifted...

I wonder what it's like to be a tree wondering in a meadow
I hear a rainbow growing overhead
I see the shadows moving without a source
I want love and peace around the world.

I am imaginative and gifted...

I pretend to go through walls
I feel the spirits of love wrapped around me
I touch the universe with every
step I take & every move I make
I worry about the hate of love hidden in every corner
I cry
when I'm feeling down on special days.

I am imaginative and gifted...

I understand no two shadows are alike
I say
I will grow bold and strong for life
I dream about drifting in the clouds on wonderful days
I try to be my inner beauty even when I'm not
I hope it begins in me...

I am imaginative and gifted.

The finished product...