My thoughts on gender variant children... As the mother of a gender variant child, I was a little disappointed in a recent television program that seemed to exploit gender variant children. These children are not "freak shows" or objects to be "sensationalized" or "pathologized". The reality is that EVERYBODY who demonstrates any variation from the book meausure of "normal" can be clinically categorized as having a pathology. Who among us doesn't have a pathology??? Who really cares??? These are children and people... with an identitiy no different than yours and mine... THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE and WE NEED TO LISTEN TO THEM, not dismiss them because they are children... and certainly not dismiss them because they are different. The truth is... there is nothing wrong with these people. The problem comes from a surrounding LACK OF COMFORT WITH THEIR SELF-EXPRESSION, AND OBVIOUS VARIATION FROM TRADITIONALLY ACCEPTED NORMS. We need to nurture the spirit. We need to embrace identity and allow people to express themselves for WHO they are so they can grow up to be the beautiful, gifted, amazing INDIVIDUALS that God created them to be. When will we quit cramming people into boxes and realize the beauty of diversity??? When will we abandon judgement and accept all people for the unique eccentricities of their divine nature??? This is what Christ's example has taught me... He has taught me to love and accept my child... and, more importantly, to LISTEN TO and BELIEVE her.
Sometimes the trials that people experience do not have NEARLY AS MUCH TO DO WITH THEM, THAN THOSE WHO NEED TO LEARN AND GROW FROM THEM. I think everyone who is blessed to know or come in contact with a gender variant child needs to ask themselves.... WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM THIS CHILD??? Only then, will God's pupose in all of this become known. Conversion of the heart doesn't come from arguing opposing viewpoints/positions... it comes from truth... from sharing testimony... and from the power of the spirit. This is true, not only of experiences in a church pew... but in all of aspects of life. I have a testimony of WHO my child is and I thank God every day for helping me to see the truth... for allowing me to SEE HER BEAUTY THROUGH HIS EYES. This is my testimony... and I'm thankful for it.
It's nice to see a mother trying to understand this and dealing with this odd condition so well. How can we not worry about our children and try our best to protect them? My mom was not capable of hearing my early pleas because it wan't what she wanted to hear. Meanwhile my dad did his best to try and make a man of me, his transgender child.
ReplyDeleteI've avoided this blog partly out of jealousy and partly because I didn't want to deal with the emotions it might bring up. I'm also very reluctant to give support because I still wonder if this was just a childhood phase I went through. Sound crazy? Yes I guess, because here I am living as a middle aged woman. Some phase.
Forgive me if I hesitate to root you and your child on as my emotions want too. It's a strange condition that I wonder if anyone who has it can ever feel "normal" with. But I think your child has a really good chance having a mother who listens and cares.
I'm not much of a believer but I struggle and talked to God a whole lot about being this way. Anger and pleading to have him fix my mind or my body. Then pne long sleepless night of tears and pleadings I thought if God wasn't going to change me that he must have wanted me this way. But why?
And it came to me that it must have been given to show his unconditional love. I never wanted to be an object lesson for that but it helped me feel like this had a purpose. A simple lesson in unconditional love for everyone.
My family has shown me that love. And though I don't consider myself a believer anymore this condition has been an amazing lesson in love. In that odd way I do feel blessed and I bet your daughter does too.
What a great lesson on faith. So many of us lose our faith on this journey and its sad. I am currently really struggling with my faith right now, but I have to ask myself "why?". Is it because I am frustrated that the faith I was taught does not line up with faith as I now know it? In other words, my path to God has taken a different route than I wanted to go, but I can't stop searching for Him even when I feel abandoned sometimes. It is only through our trials and tribulations that we can begin to understand true "faith". Sometimes being lucky hurts...lol.
ReplyDeleteTruth is all of our paths are different and we have to make the most of the journey set before us and you sound like you are doing that with your daughter and THAT is a beautiful thing! :)
For you to even begin this journey is very telling that you are a person of great faith...